There should be no need for introductions, yet here I am making them. I am Antedios. That name does not and should not ring a bell, and it is entirely and absolutely meaningless, and it will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. Who am I? There’s no point in knowing. Bit by bit I will expand on my thought, and this site will grow with it. So, in reasonable fashion, this is a vow: to become what the name will be. Isnt that just full of wonderful nonsense?
This is not a blog, and in a future essay I will better describe what this site is. But, because I am arrogant in this way, I’d rather call it an encyclopedia. For each essay that is written, another piece of the puzzle is conveyed, a puzzle not known to myself nor to any other, other than perhaps God. But it will unfortunately not be limited to essays. Aspiring to be a jack-of-all-trades, a regular deluded and diluted bastard, I’ll publish novels and articles and, if I’m feeling generous, horrendous poetry.
It doesn’t sound so bad now does it? But why should I (I am you) read this? ; The life of this entire encyclopedia is on the line here, you know? There’s not a single good answer–and there never is!
A long time ago I heard the phrase over and over again: “You have to appeal to the masses,” and to, “Make myself understood.” I, longingly, abandoned that pursuit many years ago because, long-story-short I am horrible at it. This is, however, not a mistake. I doubt that a singular person, perhaps a mass could be, but a singular person can be understood. If this person however is to be understood another will come along and find it in themselves to dislike, berate or humiliate them, if only to rebel against common consensus, or nonsense itself!
We are rebels, whether we like it or not. If I were born in any other era, I would have believed and done the opposite. I’ll repeat myself again: a deluded bastard! But, here I am, and now someone is reading this. I don’t know who, and I don’t know why. (Why should why even matter?–damn you, anti intellectual schizophrenic demon-ape-after-thought!) Every man is a vagabond of philosophy. He either is aware of his journey, or he’s tackling the odyssey like the waters. I don’t know what to say to you. I could say I want to say everything, but then I’d say nothing. The dichotomy of these are what I am. Then, I will say no more: what does it mean to be human?
We live in a tumultous age that seems to only solve itself through submitting to or creating a paradox. We can live as hypocrisies or live in ignorance. There is no right answers and we are, so very, benign to it. I have no idea who made the choice, but all we see now is the grey and yellow of horendous subjectivism, deconstructivism, nihilism and yes, ignorance! But then again, the world is not black and white. So, there is the root cause of it! There is something wrong with the world!–But it’s not that bad. Then there’s a revolution to be made!–But that’s none of my concern, I enjoy my simple slice of existence…! I’d call it anti intellectualism, an active pursuit of not pursuing! But, then I don’t know, because it’s ardous just to answer! Is it laziness, true sloth? Or am I simply wrong in my pursue of nothingness? The machine can answer for me, can’t it? I can fade into my cocktail of Soma, can’t I?
Think! And think for yourself! I see it all around me: seeing not thinking, thinking not seeing. Why can people only live as maxims, as the very most of their beings! There is no good middle ground. Either through knowing you are unknowing, through happiness you are ignorant. And if you were to be both goods, then you’d be a hypocrite! Walking contradictions, is that the definition of humanity? But no, that can’t be an answer. That removes an answer. In this day and age, I choose that there is an answer.
I have found answers without a link, and I have found thoughts without philosophies, and one step at a time, I will link them together. I am not a genius. I am not a work-of-art. I am not a person… I am human. I am revolution. I am denial. I am desperation. I am hunger. I am nothingness. And I am everything. So here I stand, Before God, as Antedios. Knowing nothing, thinking nothing, speaking of everything, thinking of everything.
I will kill the machine. I will demand philosophy. For I am human.
Look forward for paperback novels and extensive essay-collections and a great-deal of treatises and meditations and discourses! I don’t know when the next work will be published–I may decide to split it into smaller essays that a website like this can handle, but I am afraid, yes afraid!–that people will take this with no regard. I would rather publish it with an ISBN. I do not like theives. But this is the internet. I will come to terms with my futility. Then I wish only for one thing: hear the echoes of the name Antedios through the streets and the tribunals of philosophy. It will not be long, in the grand-scheme of things, before I can establish my intellectual thought. As I said, I am horrendous at this. Thank you, and I look forward to this change.
…A horrendous way to start a revolution, right?
W. Antedios, and believe with everything that nothing will come.
Revolution: “As in, a change of attitude,” I am not willing to overthrown any governments. I should have stated that before. I am only a philsopher. No, I am not even that. I am a writer. I am a novelist. But words are powerful, and as I said, “I will kill the machine. I will demand philosophy. For I am human.” That is the revolution at hand, don’t know it yet? You will. Gosh, I am already qouting myself. What a despicable human being I am!
